The Love of a Common Man & Teacher of Life

I would be so pleased to spend some time, I'd just spend a little time
To hear a little talk about what's been on your mind
Cause it don't take long to turn my head around
If it comes easy and everyone
Needs the love of a common man
         - Todd Rundgren, The Love of a Common Man

My first high school crush (prior to first actual high school boyfriend) was my “gifted program” social studies teacher, the infamous Mr. Terry Griffin, aka Grif.

He was my first encounter with the Left.  Growing up in a town of 2500 people in the deep South did not lend itself to bumping into Those People” very often. Liberal was a dirty word. So upon meeting him and hearing about his life and his viewpoints, I was fascinated. I was inspired. I was enamored with this person who had been a flower child in the Sixties – who had traveled to so many places and had so many awesome experiences. He was liberal, but he wasn’t a Bad Guy, as I had been made to believe liberals were. He was smart. He was kinda hot (and only 29 so if we were a few decades older the age difference would have been COMPLETELY ok). BUT…. he was my teacher and I respected him and ONLY appropriately crushed on him. In reality, we developed an amazing teacher-student friendship. During study hall, I would hang out in his room as his teacher’s aide, and we would talk the whole time. I loved hearing about his past life…what it was like in his world as a teenager, student and young adult. I was hooked. It was like my metaphoric moment of “I found my people.” To this day, I’m convinced that I was a young adult in the 70’s in one of my past lives; yes, I believe there have been many. Between my adoration for Mr. Griffin and my undying love for Classic Rock that began in early childhood, I KNOW that has to be true.

In Jefferson County Alabama, their version of a gifted program for high school was structured such that you had the same social studies teacher for 4 years and the same science teacher for all 4 years as well (unless you were my 10th grade chemistry teacher Mr. Murrell, but that’s a whole other story for another time). This meant that for 9th – 12th grades, as I was on my way to young adulthood, I had the most amazing mentor any small town girl in Alabama could ever have. If anyone asked me to name the top 5 most influential people in my life, he would be on it, if not at the top of it. 

He was the the first person who taught me to not only think for myself, but that it was ok if those thoughts were completely opposite what my family, friends or peers believed. He challenged me to not just accept what everyone else said was true, but to educate myself and form my own opinions. He gave me the confidence and strength to express those opinions and stand by them, even when I knew they would create uncomfortable conflicts or situations with people I loved very much. He made me feel OK about being a cheerleader and a member of the Scholar’s Bowl Team at the same time – to NOT give in to the social pressures that every high school kid experiences. Yes folks, even before social media, high school kids could be SHITTY, JEALOUS, & JUDGMENTAL ASSHOLES. Mr. Griffin taught me to stand on my own two feet, despite the negative shit…to take the unpopular stance, and…well… pretty much to know it’s ok to say “fuck ’em.” There’s a lot of power in that phrase. Don’t you always feel so much better when you find yourself in a shit situation and you finally just look up and say “you know what…..FUCK ‘EM”. Problem solved. Exhale.

Looking back at it now in the context of my newfound perspective and focus in life, meeting him was one of the first times I realized that I was very different than a lot of people I grew up with – many of whom I loved deeply and respected immensely.  He made me feel OK about it. Actually, he didn’t just to that – he helped me embrace it. He empowered me to be “the me” that deep down I knew was me, but was afraid to be. 

I think he is the person who made me later define myself as a modern day hippie (it’s no coincidence that my company is called Hippie Rock Chick). I realized that a hippie is not just some Gypsy-like person wandering around in their dirty bare feet, begging for money, food or rides from the same people they denounce and despise. It countered that ingrained stereotype and helped me understand that there are intelligent, hard-working, normal people on this Earth who believe in many opposite things that some of my friends and family do – who simply believe in the goodness of ALL mankind. They believe that ALL people should be treated equally – regardless of color, religion or other defining things that make us different. What a beautiful, and humane concept.

Sadly, my high school years at good ole’ Gardendale High were (gulp) too many years to admit ago, and here we are today in one of the most volatile, polarized and divisive situation this country has been in over a century. Even though it was long ago, Mr. Griffin’s views spoke to my heart and my head, and provided a perspective lens that has stayed with me to this day. I truly don’t know if I would be the same person that I am if it weren’t for Grif. I guess I would be, but perhaps that part of me would have just stayed silent and buried and may have never surfaced. He wasn’t just a teacher, he was a savior.

Unfortunately for many reasons, there were other parts of me that DID get buried for many years. They have only recently resurfaced, which is what began this gigantic, positive shift in my life. In the midst of this deep journey into rediscovering myself over the last couple of years, I have often thought about him. I knew that I had to find my own “inner Mr. Griffin.” The good news is, I realized I never let him go.